Sunday, November 13, 2005

north face corset

What is called the "outdoors industry" seems to be just a bunch of insecure people who, because they have no particular skill in normal society, escape to the outdoors in order to stop that tingling feeling in their stomachs of inadequacy. They immerse themselves in the finest gear and brands-and by these standards hinge the value and popularity of each outdoorsman. When not outdoors, the outdoors man must flaunt various brands and attitudes in order to convince himself that he has worth; this can be done by demonstrating the following: north face soft shells, nalgine bottles complete with token beaner (attached to your belt loop), hair length, and the ability to belittle other less qualified outdoors people. As much as possible talk about how skilled you are and stay as far away as possible from being tested if what you say is actually true-this may reveal imperfection = inadequacy = no identity. Some sacrifices must be undertaken to prove that you actually do have a skill—you must wear as much outdoor gear as possible (preferably North Face and vibrum soled boots) even when ridiculously unnecessary and impractical. Fortunately for us, corsets are no longer in style in the outdoors industry, or else we'd have to be wearing those too.

Sometimes I think I expect too much from people.

6 comments:

roberry said...

BRENTSU FRYPAN!!!

So nice to see you have discovered the usefulness of ranting on a blog.
(ranting: to talk in a noisy, excited, or declamatory manner)

Well done, young grasshopper! Soon ye shall see the fruits of thine labor which shall come to ye in all manner of oranges, bananas and mangos. Yummy.

Stand strong against the pillars of materialistic identity, brentsu frypan. Who needs to have all the latest gear? As long as it works, keeps you warm or dry, call it good. Not all know the folly of their ways... and they're a lot poorer for it, too.

But then again, if I had all the money in the world.... let's just say, it would be nice to be sure to be warm and dry. I must admit, sometimes I don't mind paying a little extra for that sort of security.

Ryan said...

cor·set (kôrst)
n.
1. A close-fitting undergarment, often reinforced by stays, worn to support and shape the waistline, hips, and breasts.

If you think about it, maybe these super-awesome-name-brand-things are actually a corset in some ways. Corsets were designed to make a girl look a certain way, a way that was not really real. They were made to make girls look "good". It seems a remarkably similar phenomenon with outdoor gear- people buy stuff because it will make them look "good".

Although, as Ro said, if they made a triple-goretex corset with a zip-in liner and snow skirt, they would actually be useful. Not that I would buy one...

Ryan said...

ps- where did your first post go? the one about getting punched in the face?

Brent said...

there you go fryguy. i dont know why it took away my fist blog..odd. but its back now.

luke said...

be tits

Court said...

brent the only thing that comes to mind is dont' you wear a north face jacket. Are you really talking about how usless you are? I think this might be the case.
Ohh so good to make fun of you again. And if this joke follows suit with most of my other ones. You won't understand it at all but you will laugh because it's me.