Although I have absolutely no experience on the matter, it would seem to me that love is perhaps the most impossible of anythings to fake; though not for lack of trying. True, I am no expert on the matter, but having little experience increases one’s ability to observe from an objective stance, what people call love.
On considerably more than a few occasions I have had friends who find themselves "the one", the one to complete all dreams, to satisfy every little corner of their insecure hearts, and surpass every prerequisite (save for Bible College students who have no prerequisites, but that’s another matter) they could have ever dreamt up. “She’s got to be the one” is followed by a list of reasons proving beyond any doubt why this statement is true. And, if at Bible College, the victim will go even farther to say that it is “Gods will” for them to be together. The turning point comes when the newly supposed “in love” couple separates for a semi-extended period of time (usually between 2-6 months, in rare cases over 1 year) at which point, like clockwork, one or the other looses “feelings” for the other person and the axe fastly descends. The exception to this last part is, of course, Bible College where one or the other states that “God told me to break up with you” usually resulting in profound confusion by the receiver of the statement and a retaliatory, “but he never told me!” But really, it’s a loosing argument, how can one argue with special revelation happening right in front your face in the form of your partner breaking up with you? It’s selfish, really.
The question is, was that love?
I would suggest that the above scenario was the same kind of love that I love honey nut cheerio’s with. It tastes great, feels good, I say that I love it, but I also know that it is unlikely to last too long. After a while I know that I will discover some new cereal that will taste even better, though for now honey nut and I are in the proverbial spring time of our relationship.
Whatever the analogy, the point is that people call feelings/emotions love. But that seems lacking. Others say commitment for life is love, but that seems too cold and concrete. Or is love an action, a verb? A combination of all of the above? Does anyone even know what they’re talking about when they claim to have “fallen in love”? Surely it is something that may naturally happen but in all cases does not naturally stay.
I think I’ll just stick to honey nut cheerio’s.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Friday, September 22, 2006
College Dropout
Dear friends, companions, country men, and kin:
Accept my most profuse apologies for the lack of news concerning my current state of affairs. It was two days after my arrival in N America when the recommencement of the school year was held. The very next day a courageous and, some would say daring group of Outdoor Leadership students began a pilgrimage to one of the worlds last strongholds of evil: Squamish. The mission: to climb with all modern technical tools, the high, nigh impossible solid granite walls of Squamish. So basically a group of guys and I took an 8 day rock course based in Squamish, which is right out of Vancouver. So now I’m practically pro. If you feel obliged you can even frame a picture of me, put it on a shelf in a dark corner, and then burn incense, light candles and say things in low unintelligible tones while making upside-down “OK” signs with your fingers. If any of you need a picture of me just let me know and I’ll send you one with an autograph on the back of it.
Immediately after the rock course the group of guys proceeded to partake in another 8 day course, this time studying mountaineering—with an emphasis on glacier travel and navigation. A few of the guys even fell into crevasses just like they do on vertical limit...but no one died—which is kind of the point. But I have to admit we all looked pretty hardcore walking around with ice axes, helmets, harnesses, crampons etc. even though in reality we had no idea what we were doing for the first part at least. The transition from Japan to BC I believe is worth mentioning at this point. Two weeks ago I was in Japan experiencing extremely deathly intense heat and nigh 100% humidity. Yesterday I was on top of Hartzel (a relatively low peak but technical nonetheless) in -7c temperatures, or -15c with wind-chill freezing my leftover tan off my icy body. Depressing...somewhat, but you get some you lose a tan. Its a high price to pay.
In other news, I have officially achieved the status of “College Dropout”. Having just arrived back from my various pilgrimages and mountaineering ventures today I received an ill timed letter in my mail box stating that if I did not come and talk to the financial office by 4:00 my studies will be terminated pending me giving them money. Having opened the letter by 6:00 this evening I am officially a college dropout. Luckily, because I am best friends with the financial lady at school I may be able to weasel my way out of this mess. I’ll just have to remember to turn on the old charm and bust out the sweet cute look I do so well.
Accept my most profuse apologies for the lack of news concerning my current state of affairs. It was two days after my arrival in N America when the recommencement of the school year was held. The very next day a courageous and, some would say daring group of Outdoor Leadership students began a pilgrimage to one of the worlds last strongholds of evil: Squamish. The mission: to climb with all modern technical tools, the high, nigh impossible solid granite walls of Squamish. So basically a group of guys and I took an 8 day rock course based in Squamish, which is right out of Vancouver. So now I’m practically pro. If you feel obliged you can even frame a picture of me, put it on a shelf in a dark corner, and then burn incense, light candles and say things in low unintelligible tones while making upside-down “OK” signs with your fingers. If any of you need a picture of me just let me know and I’ll send you one with an autograph on the back of it.
Immediately after the rock course the group of guys proceeded to partake in another 8 day course, this time studying mountaineering—with an emphasis on glacier travel and navigation. A few of the guys even fell into crevasses just like they do on vertical limit...but no one died—which is kind of the point. But I have to admit we all looked pretty hardcore walking around with ice axes, helmets, harnesses, crampons etc. even though in reality we had no idea what we were doing for the first part at least. The transition from Japan to BC I believe is worth mentioning at this point. Two weeks ago I was in Japan experiencing extremely deathly intense heat and nigh 100% humidity. Yesterday I was on top of Hartzel (a relatively low peak but technical nonetheless) in -7c temperatures, or -15c with wind-chill freezing my leftover tan off my icy body. Depressing...somewhat, but you get some you lose a tan. Its a high price to pay.
In other news, I have officially achieved the status of “College Dropout”. Having just arrived back from my various pilgrimages and mountaineering ventures today I received an ill timed letter in my mail box stating that if I did not come and talk to the financial office by 4:00 my studies will be terminated pending me giving them money. Having opened the letter by 6:00 this evening I am officially a college dropout. Luckily, because I am best friends with the financial lady at school I may be able to weasel my way out of this mess. I’ll just have to remember to turn on the old charm and bust out the sweet cute look I do so well.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
on account of america
The air just isn't as good. The food is just too greasy. The trees are all weird looking. And the airport security is so ridiculously tight that you aren't allowed a bottle of water in your carry on bag. Yes my friends, I have indeed reached the land of the free and the home of the brave. But if I had anything to do with it, I would call this country the land of the cheap and the home of the paranoid. And I mean cheap in a good way, because things are cheap here. On the drive back from the Seattle airport I was thinking that, and forgive my ignorance if I'm totally off on this one, America on most accounts excluding topography and people is a culturally drab place to live. I may be speaking out of ignorance and please correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems that America has no distinctive food (hamburgers chains don’t count), distinctive festivals (sales at malls don’t count and neither does Christmas, its not American), or much that can be called uniquely American...besides basketball jerseys, cheap foreign labor, thanksgiving, and war.
But people here are funny, friendly, and open. I was freaking out today in Safeway because I felt like everyone was staring at me--there are two possibilities for this: 1. Maybe they were trying to read my shirt, it was a completely nonsensical shirt covered in big bold English words that don’t connect or make sense. Perhaps they, in an effort to make heads and tails of my shirt were perplexed and bewildered and thus made eye contact with me as if to say "stealiest of my eyes, why doth thou so beseech mine eyes to look upon such seaming perplexity as this demonstrated by thy apparel?". Or 2: In America maybe its normal for people to look at you in the eyes while your shopping. And maybe its OK not to have to pretend that everyone around you doesn't exist. Shocking. Perhaps even culture shocking to quote the colloquialism.
In any case, I will head north soon to the land that is exactly like here, but has a different flag. I don’t really know why they fly a different flag...or why there’s a border between here an there. Because you know places like Germany and France don’t have a border, its just like passing into another state except the sign says "welcome to Germany" instead of "welcome to Alabama", or vise versa.
But people here are funny, friendly, and open. I was freaking out today in Safeway because I felt like everyone was staring at me--there are two possibilities for this: 1. Maybe they were trying to read my shirt, it was a completely nonsensical shirt covered in big bold English words that don’t connect or make sense. Perhaps they, in an effort to make heads and tails of my shirt were perplexed and bewildered and thus made eye contact with me as if to say "stealiest of my eyes, why doth thou so beseech mine eyes to look upon such seaming perplexity as this demonstrated by thy apparel?". Or 2: In America maybe its normal for people to look at you in the eyes while your shopping. And maybe its OK not to have to pretend that everyone around you doesn't exist. Shocking. Perhaps even culture shocking to quote the colloquialism.
In any case, I will head north soon to the land that is exactly like here, but has a different flag. I don’t really know why they fly a different flag...or why there’s a border between here an there. Because you know places like Germany and France don’t have a border, its just like passing into another state except the sign says "welcome to Germany" instead of "welcome to Alabama", or vise versa.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
ok, ok. you got me
So I have a confession to make. As some of you may have suspected, it was not I who wrote those super happy 13 year old girly blogs. Now Im going to go out on a limb and be honest with you; I was going through a hard time, blogging just wasn’t the same any more. I had no desire to “write down” my thoughts or “share” my emotions. No. so what did I do? I got a YWAM-er named Amy (the same Amy referenced by as “fat Amy” in previous posts) to relieve me of my blog-bound duty to write an entry. I figured that an odd entry by an unknown person was better then no entry at all. But now you have brent, in the flesh fully at his fingertips typing a rare but delightful entry. Good on you.
The occasion for such a post? The end of my time at Northstar is at hand. But in 5 short hours I will be embarking on a 12 hour train ride to Sendai, a place in the north of Japan where I will join a family reunion on the beach. Just like old times. This place in Sendai is literally the only thing in my life that hasn’t changed since I was a kid so its nice to go there and feel at home…or feel something. However, owing to the convenient lack of internet at this place up north I will not be able to post until…September some time, most likely. So until then my friends I bid you love, peace, and hippies rain down upon you like salmon falling lightly in the heavens, like frogs croaking in a pond by moonlight, like a joyous ocean wave rebounding against the beach-the mortal enemy.
And Northstar? Great. I should tell you about it sometime. www.ridenorthstar.com
The occasion for such a post? The end of my time at Northstar is at hand. But in 5 short hours I will be embarking on a 12 hour train ride to Sendai, a place in the north of Japan where I will join a family reunion on the beach. Just like old times. This place in Sendai is literally the only thing in my life that hasn’t changed since I was a kid so its nice to go there and feel at home…or feel something. However, owing to the convenient lack of internet at this place up north I will not be able to post until…September some time, most likely. So until then my friends I bid you love, peace, and hippies rain down upon you like salmon falling lightly in the heavens, like frogs croaking in a pond by moonlight, like a joyous ocean wave rebounding against the beach-the mortal enemy.
And Northstar? Great. I should tell you about it sometime. www.ridenorthstar.com
Sunday, August 13, 2006
I play the GUITAR
...and i play well. (so says the fat girl amy)
its a fact.
my name is brent-o san and i am from japan, and i rock so hard speaking my two languages. i love the fat girl amy, even though all she does is eat, i still love her. im bringing her back to america and then canada, its gonna be a blast!
i had braces and i still wear the retainer every once in a while, its good stuff. i really dont want my teeth to get out of whack like they used to be, that would just be horrific. well its kind of sad, well actually i dont if im sad or happy, the summer is coming to an end and i will be leaving this north star place in less than a week and then going to see some of my old friends in sendai, its going to rock, but fat amy isnt coming. BOO. this has been a good summer full of thinking, laughing and bathing. i actually enjoy bathing even though some may think otherwise. we had a power outage the other day, a huge storm. oh something else about bathing, today i went to the onsen and i was like yeah im tan, what, what... and then to my thoughts demise i found out my tan was just dirt. unfortunate. i like britney spears. you know? fat amy made me like her, and i dont mind, mainly because fat amys so cool that its hard not to be swayed into her own thoughts/opinions/beliefs. anyway. back to this summer, i have realized many things about life and family and friends and cleaning and hiking and playing and responsibiliting and learning and translating and friending and climbing and manualing and cooperating and appreciating and discovering and eating and LIVING a rock and roll lifestyle... and as Joey Tribianni would say "sharing and giving and receiving." i actually love the rock and roll lifestyle its rocking and i just rock out every moment i can. i3po forever, look them up on myspace, they are one of the best bands in the freaking world!
SERIOUSLY this is real last week we had a camp that came of about 25 kids from the ages of like 6 to 13 and we took them up into the mountains with backpacks and all... eep! and seriously, it was so amazing from the time we left to the time we got back(which was only about 2 days when it was supposed to be 3 or 4 or something due to some tyfoon that was trying to rain on our parade and did but only by warning, not by any real damage to skin or life) it was night and day difference there had been such a change in the kids lives, it was really cool to be apart of and see. truly cool.
word.
hey sorry since i have been taking medication for my uh my blogs get seriously wild and i am very sorry for it. read on with joy and laughter, yipperreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FIRE IN THE HOLE!
i just love this life that i live its nice. im alive breathing feeling and LOVING it. yeah.
its a fact.
my name is brent-o san and i am from japan, and i rock so hard speaking my two languages. i love the fat girl amy, even though all she does is eat, i still love her. im bringing her back to america and then canada, its gonna be a blast!
i had braces and i still wear the retainer every once in a while, its good stuff. i really dont want my teeth to get out of whack like they used to be, that would just be horrific. well its kind of sad, well actually i dont if im sad or happy, the summer is coming to an end and i will be leaving this north star place in less than a week and then going to see some of my old friends in sendai, its going to rock, but fat amy isnt coming. BOO. this has been a good summer full of thinking, laughing and bathing. i actually enjoy bathing even though some may think otherwise. we had a power outage the other day, a huge storm. oh something else about bathing, today i went to the onsen and i was like yeah im tan, what, what... and then to my thoughts demise i found out my tan was just dirt. unfortunate. i like britney spears. you know? fat amy made me like her, and i dont mind, mainly because fat amys so cool that its hard not to be swayed into her own thoughts/opinions/beliefs. anyway. back to this summer, i have realized many things about life and family and friends and cleaning and hiking and playing and responsibiliting and learning and translating and friending and climbing and manualing and cooperating and appreciating and discovering and eating and LIVING a rock and roll lifestyle... and as Joey Tribianni would say "sharing and giving and receiving." i actually love the rock and roll lifestyle its rocking and i just rock out every moment i can. i3po forever, look them up on myspace, they are one of the best bands in the freaking world!
SERIOUSLY this is real last week we had a camp that came of about 25 kids from the ages of like 6 to 13 and we took them up into the mountains with backpacks and all... eep! and seriously, it was so amazing from the time we left to the time we got back(which was only about 2 days when it was supposed to be 3 or 4 or something due to some tyfoon that was trying to rain on our parade and did but only by warning, not by any real damage to skin or life) it was night and day difference there had been such a change in the kids lives, it was really cool to be apart of and see. truly cool.
word.
hey sorry since i have been taking medication for my uh my blogs get seriously wild and i am very sorry for it. read on with joy and laughter, yipperreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FIRE IN THE HOLE!
i just love this life that i live its nice. im alive breathing feeling and LOVING it. yeah.
Friday, July 28, 2006
a philosophy of babies
I am surrounded by babies. Probably by more babies then I've ever seen in my life. All in the space of one month. There's probably as much crying around here as there are gawking girls drooling over their very dippers hoping that perhaps they too will one day have the privilege of holding a dear smelly one of their own. And bless their hearts. But despite the incessant noise protruding from their wide open cake-holes, babies make me think. Why do they cry? Sure its because they fell, or they want more jello even though there's none left--but why is crying the first sound they make when they're born? There's a 3 week old baby that I watch cry when someone flashes a camera in his face, or when he's grumpy, or...whenever he starts crying for no particular reason (as babies so often do). It makes wonder if they don't want to be here on earth. And why would any one? Surely we who have been alive longer then a few days know that life is pain and pain is crying. When babies cry perhaps they are lamenting life itself. It seems from their first moment on earth they protest loudly and continue to do so until they are eventually assimilated into this hostile environment so that the daily pain of life is bearable.
Cant blame then for crying really
...except when they're being snotty pricks
Cant blame then for crying really
...except when they're being snotty pricks
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
i wish i was a baller
no i don't wish i was baller but thats not a big deal i just thought it sounded cho genki.
its me brent livin in the north alps of japan, and I'm lovin' IT! woop woop...me and my co-guide gabriel-san got back from our adventurous hike of five nights and six days, by the way where i spent my twenty-first birthday....yes, i love my birthday but mine actually blowed because of the onsen problems (no big deal i:ll explain it if you really want to know) but the exciting thing about my birthday after i had come home from our hike my beautiful north star friends gave me a big bash, well actually they just sang me happy birthday and made me some yummy ice cream tower that looked like a poop mountain but was so tasty but since i am so thin i couldn't finish it so my fat friend amy did! i love her fatness!!! ok back to my hike...it was so amazing, um, we saw a bear that looked like a brownie because it was so far away, i wanted to eat it but knowing about my thinness i knew i wouldn't be able to... i wished amy was there. gabriel is also anorexic like me. no he's not I'm not either but its just so you get the idea of how fit me and my friend gabriel-san are. yeah about my hike: I just want to let you know/ remind you that i am really bad at telling about my life experiences so im sorry if this doesnt seem in depth enough or whatever... i will try to do my best.....oh radical-ness i went to a coldplay concert yesterday in Nagoya which was the shiznet! they were beautiful like they were so simple yet so gorgeous, like the music isnt like so complex where you are like going wow did you hear or wasnt that amazing on the guitar but its just like yeah you know? i think you do. beauty in its most expensive form. like it was reminiscent of sitting in nature and just being surrounded by beauty but it costed like 100 dollars. yep. oh lately honestly i fell in love with the computer and im on it like every three seconds so its like absolutely insane...seriously people are calling me their internet lover (amy, the fat one) im on the computer because i am doing like a mountaineering guides manual: intense.
btw also known as by the way, does anybody know about how to post pictures on this bad boy? if so let me know. coolness.
i feel like there is more that i want to say but its hard to put my finger on it...hmmmm.
oh right i totally forgot: i won a dance competition! i rock so hard, my moves are like kick ass, i move like michael jackson! you would have cried if you saw it it was honestly perfection. i won stickers. yeah thats right STICKERS! I ROCK!
its so neat that i can speak japanese, its such a blessing to be able to utilize my language gifting of the tongue for the good of humanity and adventure camp sport telephone fire....that made no sense, and i am sorry for that, but really it is good to be back in the motherland speaking my tribal language. YES...i really believe thats all this is aboot. ok peace from your sensei, live long and prosper.... dun dun dun dun du dun dun du dun dun dun dun ok i cant finish that but htat was the imperial march, vaders theme...weve got some serious star warriors here, losers. i never watch it im too cool for that i like to sleep.
its me brent livin in the north alps of japan, and I'm lovin' IT! woop woop...me and my co-guide gabriel-san got back from our adventurous hike of five nights and six days, by the way where i spent my twenty-first birthday....yes, i love my birthday but mine actually blowed because of the onsen problems (no big deal i:ll explain it if you really want to know) but the exciting thing about my birthday after i had come home from our hike my beautiful north star friends gave me a big bash, well actually they just sang me happy birthday and made me some yummy ice cream tower that looked like a poop mountain but was so tasty but since i am so thin i couldn't finish it so my fat friend amy did! i love her fatness!!! ok back to my hike...it was so amazing, um, we saw a bear that looked like a brownie because it was so far away, i wanted to eat it but knowing about my thinness i knew i wouldn't be able to... i wished amy was there. gabriel is also anorexic like me. no he's not I'm not either but its just so you get the idea of how fit me and my friend gabriel-san are. yeah about my hike: I just want to let you know/ remind you that i am really bad at telling about my life experiences so im sorry if this doesnt seem in depth enough or whatever... i will try to do my best.....oh radical-ness i went to a coldplay concert yesterday in Nagoya which was the shiznet! they were beautiful like they were so simple yet so gorgeous, like the music isnt like so complex where you are like going wow did you hear or wasnt that amazing on the guitar but its just like yeah you know? i think you do. beauty in its most expensive form. like it was reminiscent of sitting in nature and just being surrounded by beauty but it costed like 100 dollars. yep. oh lately honestly i fell in love with the computer and im on it like every three seconds so its like absolutely insane...seriously people are calling me their internet lover (amy, the fat one) im on the computer because i am doing like a mountaineering guides manual: intense.
btw also known as by the way, does anybody know about how to post pictures on this bad boy? if so let me know. coolness.
i feel like there is more that i want to say but its hard to put my finger on it...hmmmm.
oh right i totally forgot: i won a dance competition! i rock so hard, my moves are like kick ass, i move like michael jackson! you would have cried if you saw it it was honestly perfection. i won stickers. yeah thats right STICKERS! I ROCK!
its so neat that i can speak japanese, its such a blessing to be able to utilize my language gifting of the tongue for the good of humanity and adventure camp sport telephone fire....that made no sense, and i am sorry for that, but really it is good to be back in the motherland speaking my tribal language. YES...i really believe thats all this is aboot. ok peace from your sensei, live long and prosper.... dun dun dun dun du dun dun du dun dun dun dun ok i cant finish that but htat was the imperial march, vaders theme...weve got some serious star warriors here, losers. i never watch it im too cool for that i like to sleep.
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