exploding heads

The clock struck twelve. The night was still. Only the sound of gently tapping rain could be heard on the tin roof in the intervals between surges of swelling surf on the ocean. In the placid silence something was awry, she could feel it somewhere down in her lower left pinky toe. Her steady hazel eyes examined the ghostly horizon lit only by the pale moon. At that moment perhaps the most extraordinary, history altering event took place.

Did you really think I was about to write a dramatic story? Ha! Oh man, gets me every time. You should’a seen the way you looked when you started reading that story. Brilliant. Anyways, I wanted to wish you all a happy Belated April Fools Anniversary. January 1st was the 8 month anniversary of April fools since April 2006, so I thought I’d do some “fooling” of my own, if you know what I mean. And just how many times can I mention “April” in one paragraph? Apparently a lot…and then some. But that’s no reason not to say “gotcha!” Haha!

Now onto business; exactly the nature of the very important business I have to discuss? It is either too classified to write in this entry, or there is none at all. Perhaps the unnamed writer of this entry who you assume to be, for all practical and experiential purposes someone named brent is actually a telemarketer in India eating kim-chi or whatever it is they eat in Africa. Suffice it to say, now that I have got you wondering why in the world you are wasting your precious (and as you continue reading) decreasing brainwaves on this literacy and emotional stability test, I am ready to disclose the thesis statement of this entry:

America. (which is actually a word, not a thesis…I got my poetic license yesterday alright? Get off my back). Now that I have been living here for almost a month I feel that I am a professional on the subject and following are a list of my most poignant, though be it provoking thoughts for some:

1. Variability.
Contrary to what many people would like to think about America (I too, was once one of these) Americans are not all the same. For example, overseas one will hear many people say all Americans are fat. CASE IN POINT. From my personal experience I can personally attest to you that in fact, not all Americans are obese. Would you like to rebuttle by saying that the majority of Americans are fat? I have no idea. And I would suggest that unless you have some verifiable facts under your belt, neither do you so we should end this discussion now.

2. Political diversity.
Overseas or across the border many people equate Americans with Bush fanatics. Its like the eagle on the cover of each American passport is a testament to one’s undying love and commitment to A. Bush and B. blowing up the rest of the planet that is not owned by Bush, stealing their oil, plundering natural resources, and enslaving cheap labor in Asia. I am pleased to announce that not only are there the kind of people in America who do not like Bush, but there are other kinds of people too. WOW. I know, Heads are probably exploding even as you read this.

Which is why I will leave this entry here. Stand by for the next edition of exploding heads.