Monday, January 30, 2006

McDonalds artillery mount

Forgive me friends, I do not mean to talk about the same thing every blog but this I cannot keep within myself any longer. But 1 day after I composed my previous post the bicycle war reached its apex. One unsuspectingly rainy night at a late hour, I was biking to my trailer when in front of my face flew a McDonald's cup full of water. Thrown out the window of some merciless young city-slickers' car for comical pleasure and a good stroke of his personal ego. But yes, I laughed inside for even though he had no doubt aimed for my head, he missed by naught more than ten hands. Unsuspecting further attacks I laughed and shook my fist at the young "yahoo" but as I did so another barrage of fully loaded McDonalds cups, this time from more experienced artillerymen, came careening through the air, closing fast upon my dry position. Still shaking my fist and rejoicing, out of the corner of my eye I saw the fateful words "im loven it" etched in red on a white paper cup. No sooner had I noticed the cup than I felt the sensation of a million water molecules slowly and tortuously finding its path down my shirt and across my jeans. The rage of a thousands suns slowly arose in my chest and I gave the speeding McDonalds artillery mount the worst insult I could conjure. But alas, how futile! Surely little green car, we shall meet again. And when that time comes, I shall brandish my key and I shall cast revenge on your car in the form of a vandalous, paint-less scratch segmenting from trunk to hood. Then the innards of your car will surely fall out and I will feast upon the contents thereout, as my forefathers did upon your forefathers bones centuries ago, and it shall taste as honey to my lips.


B├ęthany said...

that is NOT nice in january.

the title of my blog just means "unfortunately". it is one of my favourite spanish words. but i'm going to change the title soon, so don't get too fond of it.

chicki said...

thats really the sadest thing I ever heard. We don't throw garbage at our white trash. We alabamians have class

Viking Dusty said...

Oh man, dont even get me started! I used to be a closer at Walgreens in Portland OR, and living fairly close to work i figured it would be wise to walk rather than own a working car that needed insurance and gas and money. So, one day i am walking home and all of a sudden a feel a pain in my arm. I look down and rolling around on the ground is an unbroken egg. Yes, i got hit, but their egg was a dud. That same night about 100 paces down the road i had other garbage hurled at me. Geez, what people will do for entertainment these days is just plain sad.

m.melissa.h said...

if i ever see that little green car i'll run it off the road...ok I won't...but i'll shake my fist that's fo sho!'s been over a month and a half since we've talked! *bows head and percedes to shake it*

chrissy2sheds said...

Have a look a Land of the McFree
By Harry Wallop (Filed: 02/02/2006)

We have Capernwray folk here ths weekend