Tuesday, April 11, 2006

sock sleeping

In one comment posted by an author that at this time shall remain nameless, the question "are you alive?" was posed. This term "alive" particularly stuck out to me as at this moment such a term seems somewhat subjective in light of the whole semester ending. I suppose I am proud to announce that death has not yet grasped me by the jugular and sucked my proverbial "blood" from my still warm body. No, Brent shall live to die another day. God save the Queen.
The other day I went into Starbucks and asked for a free coffee. And I got one-a grande extra hot chai tea latte to be exact. And then they offered me a job. For a moment I was tempted to take them up on the offer but how would the cafeteria floors manage without me? Could I prostitute my floors to just any random minimum wage student worker? I think not! It goes without saying that I gracefully declined the job offer. Thanks anyways suckers.
Winter camping is a biohazard. Never have I been so repulsed at my own stench and that of my fellow tent mates as when the snow gear comes off. Although it is common practice to sleep with ones socks in his sleeping bag (so as to prevent ice from forming on them and to dry them out) after one night of said “sock sleeping” I opened my sleeping bag to the smell of gangrene, trench foot, and limb-rot. Instinctively I tried running away from the smell but the socks had already taken me as their deadly hostage—there was no escape. The only benefit to winter camping is that one can actually physically see smells coming off people in the form of deadly gaseous steam that would have put chlorine gas in WW1 to shame—now you know when to run away from your friends.
The sun-its like natures congratulations for making it through 6 months of sucky weather without dying from any combination of vitamin D deficiency, boredom, ugliness, suicide, or cold. Thank you mother nature for 6 months of death and 2 months of sun. I am not bitter.

11 comments:

luke said...

comment. schomment. lawment. bomment. womment. naw brent.

Polythene Pam said...

Portland awaits you with open arms dear Bent.

Janice said...

mmm just what i needed to wake me up from my stupid unintentional nap. a wee laugh from brent. thanks, man.

Anonymous said...

God I love your posts

Benjamin said...

i look forward to every new entry

Béthany said...

glad to see you have managed to cheat death once more, my dear friend. 6 + 2 = 8, so what are the other 4 months?

in the vein of free "coffee", i saw the hugest catterpillar ever yesterday, and in my own livingroom. It was the size of an index finger, the colour of...green and orange. Love those moments.

Polythene Pam said...

Hey, idea! You should come down with Caleb next weekend - as in not this coming weekend but the one after that. eh eh?

chrissy2sheds said...

You seem to know a lot about what it was like in the WW1 trenches. Are you my Grand dad!

Going on a generation your opening bit reminded me of my fathers book Roots & Wings. ( Marshall Morgan & Scott 1970 ) In that he recalls a visit to their home by the Hoover repair man ( do you use their new SUV model in your canteen ) Anyway It was a beautiful morning and after my mother had paid he remarked "It's good to be alive !" My Dad was studying philosophy of religion at the time and replied "you can say I'm alive but you will never be able to say I am dead" The Hoover man however retorted " I can say I died " I did die I rose up to the ceiling and had a marvelous feeling of weightlessness looking down on my body lying in bed !"
My father was mystfied and the Hoover man was therafter known as the hover man. !

m.melissa.h said...

starbucks gave you FREE coffee? what aren't you telling us mr.potter. i'm sorry that instead of hanging out with possibly the coolest people this past weekend that you were inhaling some sort of biohazardes gases eminating from your own feet. i mean i'm sure it was fun, really. so hear is the deal, we should really go to white rock before you leave for the summer...seriously, i know what you are thinking it will never happen, well i too have my doubts BUT we must press on in hope. and since this comment is really just becoming an email to you for all to read i shall say goodnight. je suis tres fatigue, auvoir mon ami!

Miss Courtnay said...

Brent, Canada is better off for having you around this past year.

Béthany said...

hey, i benefitted from your game sites. thanks for the links.