Saturday, September 30, 2006

love and cheerio's

Although I have absolutely no experience on the matter, it would seem to me that love is perhaps the most impossible of anythings to fake; though not for lack of trying. True, I am no expert on the matter, but having little experience increases one’s ability to observe from an objective stance, what people call love.

On considerably more than a few occasions I have had friends who find themselves "the one", the one to complete all dreams, to satisfy every little corner of their insecure hearts, and surpass every prerequisite (save for Bible College students who have no prerequisites, but that’s another matter) they could have ever dreamt up. “She’s got to be the one” is followed by a list of reasons proving beyond any doubt why this statement is true. And, if at Bible College, the victim will go even farther to say that it is “Gods will” for them to be together. The turning point comes when the newly supposed “in love” couple separates for a semi-extended period of time (usually between 2-6 months, in rare cases over 1 year) at which point, like clockwork, one or the other looses “feelings” for the other person and the axe fastly descends. The exception to this last part is, of course, Bible College where one or the other states that “God told me to break up with you” usually resulting in profound confusion by the receiver of the statement and a retaliatory, “but he never told me!” But really, it’s a loosing argument, how can one argue with special revelation happening right in front your face in the form of your partner breaking up with you? It’s selfish, really.

The question is, was that love?
I would suggest that the above scenario was the same kind of love that I love honey nut cheerio’s with. It tastes great, feels good, I say that I love it, but I also know that it is unlikely to last too long. After a while I know that I will discover some new cereal that will taste even better, though for now honey nut and I are in the proverbial spring time of our relationship.
Whatever the analogy, the point is that people call feelings/emotions love. But that seems lacking. Others say commitment for life is love, but that seems too cold and concrete. Or is love an action, a verb? A combination of all of the above? Does anyone even know what they’re talking about when they claim to have “fallen in love”? Surely it is something that may naturally happen but in all cases does not naturally stay.
I think I’ll just stick to honey nut cheerio’s.

13 comments:

Kristin said...

Quite right my friend.

Polythene Pam said...

I agree and concur with that on SO many levels. I actually believe that when people say "God told me such and such" that that is what the bible means when it says not to take the Lord's name in vain. It think we're way off on that commandment and it's seriously wrong when people treat the Lord's name with contempt like that.
Ah yes, I remember when Honey Nut and myself were in our prime. Then Life came along and swept me off my feet, and I haven't looked back. I still have an affection for those sweet little O's, but they just don't meet my deeper needs in the way that Life does.

B├ęthany said...

Cheerios and I have have undergone that 3 month separation now that you mention, and I must admit, it has affected our relationship. I wouldn't go so far as to claim God has ordained the separation, but hey, what do I know.

I have recently lost all faith in "love"...well, not recently, so much as recently I have lost MORE faith in love that I had in the past. I can't remember my exact thoughts on the subject, but I bet they revolved around similar themes as yours do...as per usual. I just see it rip people's hearts out, and I don't even think that was the real thing...then, i wonder, does the real thing exist? I try to not waste time thinking about it.

HBryson said...

Seems to me Honey Nut gets around, if you know what i mean...

Miss Courtnay said...

Let's start out with this most christian think they fall in love when they see someone that they think would be a good genetic donner for their baby. I believe that love like christianity is not simple enough for us to define. However, within that same metaphor the more we explore the experience or love and loved ones, we find more deepth more levels and there for more true love. So yes in the shallow kiddy pool of love where pee and diapers linger, you love your cheerios but in reality you don't know love until you've 'almost drowned' in it.
Think about it at your wedding you vow to love someone forever, even though you have no idea how hard that is going to be, so do you know love when you get married? Or do you not know love until your 30 year wedding anniversary or your death bed? I'd say you know it on your wedding day, but you know it better on you death bed. but what do I know I'm just a scared little girl, hanging out in the pee pool.

brent potter said...

i have an image of soggy honey nut cheerio's floating around in the pee-filled kitty pool. its enough to make me vomit.

Miss Courtnay said...

hehhehehe

HBryson said...

it's official... you two are my favorite people right now

m.melissa.h said...

it's too scary to commit to a cereal...i mean i love honey nut, but dang i love my captain crunch maybe i should pick them *man i miss captain crunch* or what about... oh oh reese peanutbutter puffs *but only once and a while because it's like eating pure sugar with milk on the top* ...so i end not eating in the morning.

oooh your home from your trip! I saw you walk in the direction of your house...yes i am stalking you. so will you be home on monday!?! Cuz if so i may just pop in.

...Just B... said...

Wow! I haven't read your blogs in sooo long, my friend... College dropout? Are you stressing out over that? Good heavens... I don't even remember how to open a book. I haven't attended a single class in over a month and I think I'm supposed to be a student...? And as for love...I'm pretty much dating too many people to remember anyone's names and won't let myself get attached to anyone, sooo what's commitment? Who needs it anyways? My relationships are like trail mix, on-the-go, as it were... ; ) Lol...okay, so the true story is quite complicated...I'll email it to you... Hope life is fantastic!! ~Miss you, sweetie~

...Just B... said...

Whoa...Okay... I'm back. I have something to say...and I'm serious. If you begin to see someone who is totally taboo or off-limits, even if it innocently starts out as a "friendship" or whatever... Somehow, there is something that seems to happen against the will that could be called "love", and is it just because it is "forbidden"? Is it a passion that develops only because it isn't allowed? Why does it torment us so much only when we can't have it? ...and it's that torment that we seem to call love... You know it's wrong, and when you try to end it, you think your world is ending, when you get back together, you know it must come to an end...it's totally fucked up... I don't know what love is. I don't know that I am capable.

Kuri said...

Language seems inadequate when it comes to the word love. In english we tag on the word to anything remotely pleasureable, but if you think about japanese and japanese culture, its used quite differently. People don't say "onigiri aishiteru", and you don't hear parents telling their kids "aishiteru". That's why I feel like describing God's love in japanese is so tricky because people connotate "Ai" with only a romantic feeling... which may explain western confusion as well, using the word "Love" with such carelessness. I don't think love can be confined to language.

Happy Thanksgiving, eh.

P.S. Hi Bethany! I love trail mix.

chrissy2sheds said...

this is the 4th attempt.. just switched to beta! Anyway I have a small box of cheerios. It lives high in a cupboard but every morning at 8am it descends to the kitchen table but 30 mins later it returns to its resting place unloved forgotten and forlorn