Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Banzai! for the matrimonial conjugal betrothal of a dear wedded one

I would like to take this opportunity to announce the glorious betrothal of my brother, friend, and mentor; Cami Potter AKA "The muffin man". It was the 18th day of the 3rd month of the 6th year of the 4th lunar circumnavigation of the 1st day after St. Patricks commemoration of the 5th stage of the 8 fold path to enlightenment when we sent him off to the sound of a shattering bottle of champagne over his head (you know, like what they do for ships…only metaphorically). The ceremonies were fun, the bachelor party was superbly executed, and the grooms dudes were…well there’s no beating around the bush, we were hunks. Huge hunks of monkeys; Extraordinarily large, perhaps superfluously enormous, copiously corpulent HUNKS. Though of course in the shadow of Muffin man we were all but a dirty worm to be run over by steal studded winter travel tires. But after all the fun was over I was left with a feeling similar to that experienced after a funeral. I suppose that’s because in some ways it was an end. It was also the beginning of a super awesome new thing, but it’s always good to recognize and celebrate an end. Banzai for Mr. and Mrs. Muffin—may they dance and frolic where the women flow like salmon and the wine flock to beer like Capistrano. We salute you.

The coffee bean: crutch or crux?
My latest theory has been that in the Northwest coffee is popular because living in the Northwest freaken bites. Lets be honest, during the peak season a typical Northwesterner may not see the sun for weeks or even months. This is not humanly normal. The body says to itself “hey, I need some artificial stimulants to put an artificial sun back into my dismal, sad, glum life”. And if the patron prefers legalized stimulants then he/she would naturally go to the nearest dealer for a fix of that sweatshop supporting black, miry, teeth staining liquid diarrheic we have come to “love” (aka be addicted to) called coffee. Granted there is s certain coffee culture in the northwest that is educed by a lack of any other social day time activity by way of the drizzly depressing weather outside, and for that reason many of us have gone astray. But not you!! Boycott!! Picket!! Pillage!! Vikings!! Amsterdam!! Freedom fries!! GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!! LONG LIVE THE SHERRIFF OF NOTTINGHAM!!
At this point I will just assume that I have lost all my friends. But I don’t care!!...Heck, lets just go talk about it over coffee.

7 comments:

Allison said...

Hm. I have a headache, so that post didn't make *too* much sense. All I know is that Cami wasn't at the Gym last night because of said recent marriage (good for him, sad cos I'm rarely frequent the gym), and I like coffee, but it has nothing to do with the sun hiding behind clouds, which I do not mind as it indicates that there is most likely a growing accumulation of snow on the Mts.
Also, I was about to find a way to search you out this weekend because I had heard about the wedding and figured you'd be in town. Can it be true? Are you here??

Polythene Pam said...

yay for cami. I know what you mean about the funeral feeling too. My sister got married this summer. Happy as I was for her it was the end of an era for her and I and the beginning of a new era for her and him.
I love the feeling of coffee hitting my system. Is this bad and evil? Perhaps. I love the sun more. But ever MORE do I love the sun and coffee together. Mmm, a perfect day. Coffee and sun (I'm easily satisfied).
That post made me laugh a lot. I can't wait to see you. What's your school schedule like?

mary said...

brent, your post made me laugh as much as your e-mail did...which i thank you for, by the way. i still just can't believe that cami is married...and adam carlson too. can we really all be growing up!? hang in there brent. it won't be long till you'll be home in japan enjoying constant sunshine and humidity. speaking of which (speaking of japan that is), glad that you got the package. sorry it took five years to send. take care my dear blents.

Janice said...

my eyboard doesn't really wor rght now but had to comment nonetheless. shall reman your frend because hold no love for coffee. but do mss the sun!! we had t for two days and then t was gone agan. sad day. maybe t wll come bac?

Kuri said...

does that mean you don't want the free coffee from starbucks? i would choose sun over coffee any day. but alas, us northwesterners must resort to the comforting black mire.

p.s. you WERE looking good at the wedding!

Miss Courtnay said...

My applause to you brent, for the last 4 days I have drinking coffee everyday. For me this is not normal behaviour. Now I feel like an addict. How is that possible, I feel slow and stupid, relient. This is not good, coffee should be used as intented to keep you up for studying during finals and early morning breakfasts with those you can't stand. But since I am now and addict of 4 days, I will through all rational thought and opion on the subject out the window, for a much need fix.

Lindsay said...

Brent, you make me laugh; you are a funny, funny guy. I like and miss you a lot.
...as for coffee, unless it is drowned in milk and sugar, tastes like french vanilla or maybe swiss mocha, i would much rather drink tap water.. or perhaps maybe caffienated molasses, just a preference really.