Yes, it was another grey day in Portland when Brent suddenly realized that he had much in common with his personal hero, Harry Potter. For you see, Brent not only shared the same last name, the same birth month, and the same sense of style (the robes, I love the robes), but now their parallel lives took on an uncanny likeness when Brent took up residence in a closet under the stairs. When Brent lay there at night after the light was off but before he dozed off he often wondered what Harry felt like living in a similar residence...and if those giant glasses ever burned his eyes like a magnifying glass when he looked into the sun.
Needless to say, I am now proud to announce that I live in a storage room under the stairs. I call it my "basement suite". I have been looking for jobs for the past week but one can only do that so long that before frying his mind with how much sucking up one must do to get one. It makes me sick and I hate myself more every time I do it, but I suppose it is unavoidable. I'm so bored that I take walks in circles and read the Narnia books for hours--I should read more challenging books perhaps, but Narnia books are so addicting...soo addicting.
In other exciting news it would seem the curse of the certificate of eligibility has finally been broken. In America I have come to realize that one is not credited as of sound legal mind and age until one has attained proficient government eligibility to be regarded as such. In this society I have found the title of Proficient Eligibility to hinge a lot on one thing; a drivers license. Hence the drivers license is the certificate of eligibility-proof that you are of sound legal mind and age. So it is my joy to announce that at the age of 20 and after one year of attempting to attain this certificate I have looked boldly into the face of society and said "No longer shall I be regarded as an infidel for I shall triumph". And I did. Ladies and gentlemen, Brent the Eligible.