A time is coming and has now come when the condescending voices of my siblings shall no longer ring in my ears, when past acquaintances will not ridicule me in their blogs, no longer will they have an excuse not to know what is happening in my life! No longer shall you roll in cesspools if ignorance and fecal matter! NO! the time is coming and has now come when dandelions like little giddy children on the swings do play, when grand piano’s fall on the heads of the teletubbies, when the beer flows like wine and babies no longer cry on airplanes! YES! I…AM…BLOG! Fear not oh little ones, fear not, uncle brent shall be to you no harm. Of fear be thou not, for mine is the kingdom of blog for ever and ever.
And in other news, as many of you know I am in a program at college called OL (which is short for Outdoor Leadership). Its basically a major at college where we’re taught to be out door guides, we do all kinds of 5 day and 1 day trips with activities ranging from canoeing to ski touring. So last week my team and I (alpha team) which consists of 8 people went out on a canoe trip-and nothing really worth mentioning happened until the last night. Its always the a night.
The preface: my tent was a tarp in the shape of a pyramid, it had one pole up the middle and the rest of the tarp was pegged down with chopsticks (the night before I made sushi for dinner, and as we forgot the tent pegs, chopsticks seemed like the most logical course of action). The problem: the last night we had the most freakish windstorm I’ve ever encountered. The wind would first come from behind-like clockwork we could hear it blasting through the trees in the distance speeding its way over to us. And when the wind finally hit, it would effectively turn our pyramid, chopstick held, one-pole tent into a parachute-that is, it would have-save for the desperate efforts of the tents inhabitants yelling and holding down various corners of the tent as tree branches rained down on us. This lasted for about 30 seconds. Then we would put the tent back on its chopsticks, pray the storm was over, and fall asleep. Now so far there has been nothing freakish-no. but the freakeshness was that 5 minutes later the wind would come again except this time from the opposite direction. And we did the usual routine of holding down the tent, yelling etc. and then falling asleep for 5 minutes until the process repeats itself over and over. After about 10 of these cycles I was done with it. I decided to steal real pegs from the leaders tent to replace our chopsticks with. At about 1:30am I drag myself out of the pyramid tarp, and commence the night walk over to the leaders tent. Preface: 1. We had a camp fire the night before, which was still going because a team member was tending to it. 2 This member is EXTREMELY jumpy 3. This person spent a considerable amount of time in the US army. 4. Freakishly windy nights make people jumpy. Problem: 1 I approach this person from behind 2 I don’t know that he’s extremely jumpy 3. Without the intention to startle, I whisper his name 1ft behind him. Freakish occurrence number tow: He turns around and starts socking me in the face. Oh no, not just once, multiple times, and he did not desist after the fist 10 seconds, nor did he desist while I was yelling at him reminding him of who I was and that we’ve known each other for 2 months. After about 15 seconds of this he finally snaps out of the trance apologizes, pats my back and walks off. I’m left standing mouth agape, wondering if what just happened happened. Later he “jokingly” states that it was a good thing he didn’t have a knife on him. A good one! MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE A FREAKEN COMMEDIAN FOOL!