Saturday, November 26, 2005

please remain seated

Musings on an airplane to Chicago
When I was young, I used to look forward to airplane rides as much as I used to look forward to going to amusement parks. They were exciting, dangerous, and cool looking. But in my more recent history I have come out of my idealistic love for airplanes and the truth of the matter is disillusioning. My many pilgrimages on to the “aero-plane” have convinced me that they are actually a form of torture designed to punish our technologically advanced society. Indeed, it is a true irony that the very technology we esteem so highly inflicts itself upon us spreading like the bubonic plague. Most people don’t realize this until they find themselves walking through metal detectors without socks, holding up their pants because uniformed people made them take thier belt off. This we hail as modern innovation? Back in the 1600’s walking places with pants at one’s shoeless feet was not considered proper, but now in the 21st century, this is not only common practice, but something we have been brainwashed to think is a “good thing to keep bad people out”.

The real form of torture comes not when you're waiting for the plane for 2 hours, or eating airplane food (which can be used as a flotation device incase of an emergency) no. The real torture my friends is babies. I am convinced the reason weapons aren't allowed on planes is for the protection of crying babies and their blessed parents who caused the little cuties to come about in the first place. Heck, I know if I had an AK-47, crying babies would no longer be an issue on planes.

7 comments:

chicki said...

you failed to mention the various diseases floating around on airplanes. If one person coughs, you know the entire plane is done for because there's no ventilation...you just sit around and breathe in stale air for the 6 hour flight or whatever. It's absolutely disgusting. I used to love planes too...until I got big and they're just boring and germ infested. Ewww

Béthany said...

i think i started hating planes when i was 16...i've been on way too many of them. i think we've talked about this before.

jt said...

hey brento! glad to see you've joined the blog world.

° ÐãVeØ ° said...

I still like planes. I think It's cos they denote getting away from somewhere. Hmm.
Brentsu, you reminded me of when I checked in for my flight to Austria.
I had so much friggin metal on me it was ridiculous.
Steel-toe capped boots, metal belt, metal zip on my jumper...
I was down to a vest, trousers and socks, and I started unzipping, and pulled my trousers halfway down my thighs in front of everyone (for a joke -you know me), and they told me to get dressed. I thought it was funny at the time, and so did the woman frisking me. (I thought they are supposed to have the same sex frisk you... maybe I've been in a Christian environment for too long).

p.s. it was great to talk to you on the phone today bro!

Janice said...

i was on the worst flight of my life (well not really i've had worse) from frankfurt to manchester on lufthansa...plane like a tin can, excessive headwinds, overshot the landing by a lot, takeoff was late and extremely poor, i was sick, tired, had a headache, had just flown halfway across the world in a packed 747, and fallen asleep in an odd position on a bench. i get on this tin can, i sit in the back so no one will bother me. a couple with three kids sit across the aisle from me. a baby, a toddler, and a little girl, all screaming. after about fifteen minutes, the older two calmed down. a few minutes after that, the mom went into the back of the plane with the baby. screaming quickly subsided. came back within a minute with the baby sound asleep. my only conclusion was that she drugged the baby. i wanted to kiss her.

Ryan said...

umm...why were you going to chicago? what good could there possibly be there?

m.melissa.h said...

Oh Brent, I love to read your perspective on life, it's different from the everday... this is what I did or who I saw, you're refreshing. Missed you this weekend on the youth retreat, it went great, hey are you coming on tuesday?! It's youth sponsor night out! let me know!